When the Cold Fades
by Darth Amidala
Summary: What if Shang had found out about Mulan in a different way? What will it take for her to make his cold fade? I tried to sound like the movie would have. Please review!
1. Chapter 1

**First Mulan Fanfiction! So excited. This ill sound kind of like the movie- I hope.**

Somehow, the Captain made every day of training the longest days of their lives- and Mulan knew everyone else shared her view. Admittedly, she had gotten a little better over the past month after retrieving the arrow. But that didn't mean that every fiber of her being didn't ache from the difficult course. Shang didn't seem to have any sympathy at all towards her despite the fact she was the smallest of them all; instead, he expected more out of her than anyone else. He seemed to think "making a man out of you" meant that when she finally broke, she would come back stronger.

As they stood straight in formation on yet another one of these long days, Shang announced another run, much to the dismay of his army.

"Why is it every time I can start to move again, Pretty Boy here ruins it?" Yao grumbled loudly.

Mulan held back a laugh. She agreed. The runs were quite possibly the worst torture Shang could inflict on them. No matter how hard she worked to reserve her energy, by the third lap she could barley breathe. Somehow, though, she was managed to stay in front of most of the men and sometimes even passed Shang (much to his dismay). This didn't mean she didn't struggle just as much as everyone else.

"Wait." Shang yelled out just as they were beginning to run. They turned towards him.

"As a reward for the past week of continuous effort..." He paused, relishing the widened eyes throughout the men. "Since you've all been begging for a while, you don't have to wear armor as you run today."

There was silence for a moment, as they wondered if this was a joke, perhaps to test their gullibility. Slowly, they realized he meant it.

Everyone rejoiced loudly and began shedding the heavy armor. Everyone, that is, except Mulan.

Her heart had jumped to her throat, and it stopped her from breathing. _No armor? _She thought dully. _But that would mean..._

_My secret is about to be exposed._

At the tender age of sixteen, the curves she was so excited to have at the beginning of the year were her curse now. Shang had always required them to wear the armor, and even though it was excruciatingly heavy she was grateful. It gave her the apearance of a straight body. It was rare that the trainees took it off, except for bathing and sleeping.

And now.

Mulan stood straight and tense, aware that the other men were several feet in front of her. Briefly she wondered if she could skip the run without the Captain noticing, until she heard a voice behind her.

"Ping? Why aren't you running yet? Is there something wrong?"

The casual tone of Shang's voice only made her more nervous. "Um..." Mulan turned around slowly, trying to sound nonchalant. It didn't help that once again he wasn't wearing a shirt. "I'd rather run with my armor..._on_. Is...that okay?" She was so nervous it was hard to keep her voice lower than the normal pitch.

He looked at her confusedly. "Why? I know you don't like having to wear it all the time. I would think you of all the men would jump at the chance to be rid of it."

"I just..." She swung her arms and bounced on the balls of her feet, trying to act like she had the first day in the army- manly. "I thought I could, you know, get better! I mean, if you're not absolutely devoted to it, it won't help me...improve." She laughed weakly. He was giving her a strange look.

Then he shrugged. "Well, it's kind of...required." He smiled. "I didn't think I would have to make it required, Ping. We need to clean the armor, because as I'm sure you've noticed-" He leaned in as if sharing a secret- "we stink. A lot."

Unwillingly, she laughed.

"I cleaned mine yesterday in the spring. So I shouldn't be in trouble." Mulan turned around to leave, trying to avoid a confrontation. "So... yeah. I"m gonna go run."

"Wait!" Shang said, and as he reached to grab her, he missed her shoulder, accidentally latching onto the tie of her armor. It came loose quickly.

In one horrifying second, she felt her chest armor slip away, though she made a feeble attempt to clutch it to her chest. But it was too late.

She squeezed her eyes shut as Shang gasped.

Her heart did not jump; because she had no heart. It wasn't beating, anyways. Her mind refused to believe that the gasp was because he had found out she was-

"A woman." Shang whispered. Her eyes were still tightly closed, but she could feel the disbelief radiating from him. He had her armor, so she couldn't cover herself. Slowly, she opened her eyes. He was staring at her, perplexed.

"A woman!" He whispered. His whispers filled with disbelief were much more scarier than his raging screams . Propelled into action by fear, she sprinted away from him and towards her tent. Whether or not he was following her, she didn't know. She refused to stop until she arrived at her destination.

"Mushu!" She cried anxiously once she finally jumped inside the makeshift tent.

Silence.

With another gut-wrenching thought, she realized that he was still tucked away in her armor. Shang had him, her best friend, her guardian. Without him, what would she do? Her mind was blank- at least, in regard as what to do. Could she escape? No. HE would hunt her down. Could she knock him out and somehow affect his short- term memory, erase somehow what he saw?

And he had, in fact, seen her curves. The bane of her existence, indeed. No man that slender would have a chest like hers.

"Ping..."

His voice outside her tent scared her, of course. Mulan held her breath, hoping he would just go away. But there wasn't any where else she could have run.

The whispering disbelief was gone. In its place was anger, pride, (_wounded_ pride, he'd just realized a girl had beaten him in sparring) and coldness. Above all, the unbearable coldness. No longer were the Shang and Ping, unlikely friends. They were Captain and Soldier. No, not even that. She realized that at the very least she wasn't a soldier anymore.

"Come out, Ping. Or is that even your name?"

Slowly, she edged out, hoping he couldn't see the terror on her face.

"We obviously have a lot to talk about." His voice was sarcastic and cruel. Never before had she heard his voice tinged with cruelty, she noticed dimly. Stric, sure, but never cruel.

With a flourish of his scarlet cape, he spun around and strode off, and Mulan scurried after him.

**Well, whaddya think? I'm not gonna have romance at first. And this is going to be completely appropriate. So if you liked it, review... please! You know how much evey writer loves reviews!**


	2. Chapter 2

She stood as still as the dragon she seen every morning for sixteen years. Yet, she could not be still enough, for surely if she tried hard she could freeze herself into an impenetrable block of stone.

He, however, was as restless as the dragon in its youth, pacing, snarling, shuddering.

Mulan half wished he would just end this suspense, just draw his sword and charge at her, a lifetime's worth of anger forcing the blade into her heart...

The general turned and glared at her. Against her will, she dropped her gaze to the frozen soil. She winced- weakness was not wise in her predicament. She wanted to be strong as she died. She wanted to die the death of a soldier. She wanted to die the death she had accepted in place of her father's. It was difficult to meet his gaze again. He had not moved.

"Have you even _bathed_ in the last three months?"

She could feel the heat rising up her neck. "I...What?"

He clenched his fists and closed his eyes. "I.. I just.. I don't even know how to start! Why would you..._arrgghhh_..." He pressed his fingertips into his hairline and spun around.

Though Mulan did not want to move, she took a hesitant step forward. "I did it for my father."

Shang seethed at her. "Really? And that's a logical way to gain a father's respect_ how_?"

Mulan shook her head fiercely. "No! No... that's not what I did. I..." She wrapped her arms around herself and sat down on the cold ground. "They were calling for a man to fight from every family, and I don't have any brothers. My father... he was the only one, but he's already... and I couldn't let..."

"You couldn't let him what? Do his duty to his country?"

"My duty is to my heart!"

Shang scoffed contemptuously. "What a _woman_ thing to say."

She could feel the familiar clench of anger in her throat, and before she could swallow it down, she let it spread to the rest of her body."How dare you insult me!" she cried, leaping up into the fighting stance he had drilled into her mind. "I am your _best_ soldier!" She threw her fist as hard as she could at his jaw, hoping to disarm him to emphasize her statement.

Mulan grunted in surprise as the captain grabbed her fist. "No." He growled. "_I_ am my best soldier."

She struggled to get loose of his grip. "Let me go!"

Shang remained unflinching. "You still have much to learn." There was a mocking lilt to his voice. "You do not concentrate when you're angry."

She fixed him with the most withering glare she could. Surprisingly, he threw her arm away with such force it hurt her wrist.

"What is your name? Your _real_ name?"

"Fa Mulan."

He scoffed. "So you're really a Fa? Then you should have let your father go. He'd be of much more worth than-"

"Would you stop yelling and kill me already?" Mulan wasn't sure if she could hold back hysteria much longer.

"No." He spoke calmly. "No, I spent too much time investing in you. You are going to wait here for the rest of the men and run with them like you always do. You will stay Ping. You will be a man. Try to be of some value, okay?"

"What?"

"I'm not repeating myself. You know what I said. Were you looking forward to being a martyr to some sort of women's equality cause?"

"What do you mean, value? I'm not some sort of cattle."

"No. Even worse- you're a woman."

With a flourish of his scarlet cape, he spun on his heel and strode away.

His comment stung. She never would have pegged Shang as the sexist type. Then again he had just spared her lie, so it was possible to overlook his scathing remark.

She squeezed her eyes shut, her breath becoming ragged. Heart jumping. Tears in the back of her throat.

She had been so careful...

Though she was still alive, and that was the greatest victory anyone could want, it still felt like she had failed. Nobody else had questioned her gender... Why couldn't Shang just have thought her overweight in the chest and left it alone? Because she had given it all away in her face. If she had laughed it off, she might have been running with the men now.

Running with the men. That reminded her, that despite her current distress, more than one man would know her secret if she didn't get her armor back on, and fast. Mushu, with the armor as well, would know what to do. He would give her some sarcastic remark about her chest and make her smile.

She walked to the pile of stinking armor and found the smallest one.

"Mushu?" She whispered, poking it.

"I'm right here, Mulan." He was behind her, crossing his scaly red arms in front of him with an arrogant curl of his whiskers.

"Oh...We're done with... Shang knows."

He snorted. "I know. I saw it all. I wanted to bite him and give you a chance to run, but then I remembered how nasty the other one tasted..." He shuddered.

A small smile broke out on her face. "We can discuss it later. Help me get my armor back on."

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**Sorry for such a short chapter, and sorry for the year-long wait. I was kind of having an eternal writer's block.**

**So, review! You know I love those! And I can't respond to all thirty-two of you, but to all of you, thank you so much. Honor on your cows!**


	3. Chapter 3

Although Mulan had always labeled men as ignorant of other's emotions, her new found friends certainly pegged Ping's uneasiness so quickly, she wondered if Shang had decided to tell them.

But it had been so unnervingly easy to assure them she was perfectly fine. She had almost been tempted to tell them, even before Shang found out. No, she had decided, they would let something slip, even in innocence. They were untrustworthy, if only with this one secret. Perhaps she really would get through this whole ordeal without anyone knowing, and then return to her home and lay honor at her father's feet.

But Shang had made sure that no honor would befall Mulan. She could still, three hours later, feel the flames of shame licking down her face. She shuddered continuously, out of fear, embarrassment, and shock.

"It's just really hot today." Mulan lamely told her companions. It would normally be a plausible excuse, except for the fact that today they had not worn their sweltering armor.

"Whatever you say." Yao shrugged, unconcerned as he wolfed down his rations.

"I think Ping has something on his mind." Chen Po serenely observed. "We had better leave him alone, so that he might be able to think."

She silently thanked her large friend, and continued eating her meal.

At the thirty minute interval, the General swept through the ranks for the daily "checkups." Shang would go down the slightly uneven line and either commend or reprimand each soldier. At times, he would simply pass a man and ignore him completely. This was the worst dishonor to befall a troop-at least, for now- because that meant he had done nothing that day to command attention. Nothing to make that day any like the last. Unchanging. It meant that the soldier was, basically, worthless. There was no greater shame.

Mulan was anxious, not only because this was their first meeting since the discovery, but because she was sure he would punish her publicly without revealing the reason. Or, worse, that he had changed his mind in the past few hours and was going to publicly execute her, which he should have done in the first place.

She could barely breathe normally for fear, and Mushu's random quirks in her ear weren't helping. In fact, they might have just set her more on edge.

Singing a song in her head to pass the time, she looked straight ahead and only moved to clap when she heard the rest of her company do so, which meant a soldier had been commended. Refusing to look up when his boots neared her line of vision, she swallowed. Hard.

"Ping." His voice carried a regal tone that he adopted whenever he wanted to sound like an authority to be afraid of. It worked on her.

"Yes, sir!"

"You have shown bravery today." He turned to the company. "For Ping!"

The stunned soldiers got to their knees and pounded their weapons as Shang handed the immobile Ping his helmet. "Your family will be honored, and I will personally send this helmet and an explanation to them. They have raised you well."

Mulan could not speak, sure that Shang would now embarrass her and reveal her secret.

But all he did was stare regally into her eyes, public and yet private.

"Well done." He whispered.

And then she threw up on his shoes.

A wave of laughter rippled throughout the company. Even Shang nervously chuckled.

"Oh, real slick." Mushu hissed in her ear. "But not as slick as those shoes will be after you finish cleaning 'em!"

She was so humiliated. Was this her punishment? No, it was entirely her nerves. Whatever respect she might have earned form the general must have been brutally murdered by the muck on his black boots.

"That's alright. You've had a hard day." He said loudly, trying to shake the vomit off of his shoes.

Mulan was not looking forward to when the general left and everyone would either ask her what she had done that was so brave or mock her for vomiting on the general's shoes.

As he finished the line quickly, so he could clean up, she noticed each one had shot looks at her after their turn. Almost...admiring looks.

When, after the long day, she crawled into her tent, she realized that her crush on the general might lead to more embarrassing episodes.

Curse unrequited love.


	4. Chapter 4

**Ok, A/N time! First of all, thank you so much for all of you who have reviewed. They are the greatest compliments I ever recieve. I'm at 54 reviews! I didn't expect hardly 15! Second of all, here are the normal apologies you get from fanfic authors for being so slow in updating. Normally I do it at school, during my free time when I don't feel like perusing Pinterest for fanart. My chapters are so short because I do them in a 30-50 minute radius, and I honestly should start editing or maybe-(scandal ahead)- take more than one sitting to write a chapter. For those who read my Star Wars fanfictions, which I suggest you NOT, I intend on re-doing most of them. They were written hastliy and, though a year old, were made in a time where my writing style had yet to mature. I'm writing this on the very user-hated Notepad, for my grandma's computer has no internet. There's a little bit more Mulan/Shang fluff in this chapter, or at least dialogue. OK, I'll stop ranting now. If you're anything like me, you probably skipped this whole thing just to get to the meat of the story. Here. Have some pork chops. (I hate pork chops. Let's make it chicken nuggets.)**

* * *

The midnight had passed, and she was still awake in her tent, trying to calm the storm of nausea in her stomach. It was unlike any illness she had had in her sixteen years. At first, Mushu had mockingly said it was her nerves that made her throw up on her leading commander's shoes. But now, as she blearily looked at the little red dragon, Mulan could see he was worried.

"If you keep this up, Pretty Boy's gonna notice and send you to the infirmary." Mushu whispered.

Mulan scoffed. "If anything, he would make me work harder."

"You're already working as hard as your little Chinese butt can. You go any harder, and General Prettiness is gonna have some competition for title of general." He crawled over to lay besides her head.

Despite her weariness, she laughed. "Not with Chi Fu around. He'd make Chen Po general before me." Sometimes, sometimes she wondered if Chi Fu knew her secret somewhere in the back of his lumpy head. Or maybe he was just a bully to everyone, men included.

"I don't know. The way Shang was lookin' at you today makes me think he has a favorite."

She sat up. "Really? He was looking at me?"

"Don't get your bun in a knot."

"Buns are knots."

"Whatever. I mean, he was all 'General Mightiness bow-down worm' before today, especially towards you, but now he knows who you are, he keeps looking at you. Makes me wanna go pull that luxurious topknot out of his head, thinkin' he can go chasin' every girl that joins the army."

Despite Mushu's rambling, she smiled the slightest bit, and bowed her head down so he couldn't see it. It was nice to know if, at least her General didn't return her silly crush, at least he respected her. Maybe even admired her. Why else would he go to great lengths to show her honor?

"Maybe he's trying to rub it in Chi Fu's face." Mulan realized she'd asked the question out loud. "Though maybe even that little house-rat would respect you if he knew what you'd done."

"That man wouldn't respect me if I saved his and his mother's life sacrificing my own." She said absentmindedly.

Mushu started to say something, but Mulan interrupted him. "I'm going to go throw up." She announced, crawling out of the tent.

"Yes, please, leave." Mushu hissed after her. "I haven't been thrown up on since your great grandmother."

Mulan wanted to laugh, but when she opened her mouth the nausea bubbled up. She stumbled over to the lone tree in the campsite and threw up onto the trunk. After a full half minute of vomiting, which made it hard to breathe, she collapsed on the ground, breathing labored. The grass was wet and soft underneath her, and she wondered what punishment she would have if she slept here. There was no doubt in her mind that she would not make it to roll call, taking into consideration the hour and that her "alarm clock" wouldn't let her back into her tent.

"Still sick?" She pushed herself up quickly, startled. When she saw it was Shang, leaning on the side of the tree she hadn't vomited on, she felt both relieved and apprehensive. The embarrassment of this morning's roll call had not yet left her mind, and even now she felt the heat rise up her neck.

"Obviously." She said dryly, and laid back down, set on ignoring him.

To her quiet surprise, he asked, "Mind if I join you?" He took her silence as a "yes" and laid back besides her, at ease on the cold dew as he rested his hands behind his neck.

"I'm sick." Mulan admonished. "I might throw up on you."

Though she couldn't see him, she imagined he shrugged. "Your lizard may be afraid of a little vomit, but little disgusts me, besides Opin Gu's porridge. Just don't breathe on me."

She sat up again, ignoring the jab at the camp cook's attempt to toughen up the soldiers. "What do you know about Mushu?"

"Is that his name? I know he's a talking lizard you brought from home. And no," he added, seeing the look of puzzlement on her face, "I don't think it's odd. You aren't the only family in China with family guardians."

''How do you know about him?"

"I've known since you introduced yourself. You think I couldn't see a little red lizard whispering fake names on your shoulder?"

She laid back sheepishly. They thought they had been so clever, and gotten away with hiding all their secrets, when the one person that they had feared finding out even one now knew all of them. "He's not a lizard. He's a dragon. Mushu just hasn't... bloomed yet." She felt the need to defend him to Shang, although she had thought the exact same thing when they had first met. "And why didn't you call me out, if you knew I was making up a name?"

It was his turn to be sheepish, "I figured you just had a stupid name. And I let you get away with...Mushu? Because I know what it's like needing something from home."

She scoffed. "As noble as that sounds, he latched on to me. I didn't even know him when I left home." The mention of her home, and by association the reason she left it, let the conversation fall flat.

"I am sick!"

"Yeah. You and a lot of other people." His voice turned back to its daytime tone.

Before she could ask what he meant, he rose gracefully to his feet. "Good night, Ping." He said crisply. "Despite your illness, I will expect you at roll call tomorrow before anyone else." With a quick nod, a spun around and walked towards his tent.

She was taken aback by his sudden attitude, still propped onto her elbow. She had almost fooled herself into thinking that his cold had faded.


End file.
